| Location | Burton Upon Trent |
| Age | 0 |
| Cause of Death | Still Birth |
| Date of Birth | 29/07/2009 |
| Date of Death | 28/07/2009 |
| Visitors | 2,026 since 13/08/2009 |
| Creator |
my precious baby died 3 weeks before her due date due to me having a silent placenta abruption. she
was born weighing 5 pound 6 oz.she is the most beautiful little girl and i miss her more than words
can say. i love you mandy may my angel.im always thinking of you and you will always be my little
girl.
it all started when i was doing the housework with just back pain so not thinking anything of it i
just carried on. it got to about 6 oclock when i started to have contractions "or so i thought". i
rang the hospital and they told me to go down. was a little concerned as not much movement but i
thought it was just because my stomach was hard. i went to the hospital thinking god im gunna have
my baby tonight. we got there and were took into the examination room. im angry as i was there an
hour before they checked her heartbeat. id got a trainee midwife in there and the midwife was
showing her with a pretend baby the different positions on my stomach. pissed off as surely when you
go in as an emergency they shouldnt be doing that. i had high blood pressure when i got there, that
concerned me as i have never had high blood pressure before and i had ++protein so at first we
thought pre eclampsia. it went from quiet a laid back atmosphere when the midwife tryed to hear the
heartbeat to very nervous. we couldnt hear anything. they brought in an ultrasound machine and they
kept getting confused whether it was my heartbeat or hers. one minute it was we have found it and
the next it wasnt. then we went to have a scan and they confirmed my worst nightmare. she had died.
nothing ever prepares you with these things especially not at 36 weeks. i was shocked............my
baby!!!!!!why me, why her. i was took into the snow drop suite and told that i had to stay in.... i
couldnt i just wanted to go home, so i did. this was about 12.30 at night.i got home at 1pm and
cryed all night, i had to be back at the hospital for 8 in the morning.
the next morning i had to pick an outfit for her witch was soooo hard.i got to the hospital and my
consultant was very upset because i had been watched alot because of my first pregnancy wich i will
come to in a minute. the consultant thought it was sids as i wasnt in much pain. they wouldnt know
until i had her. they wanted to induce me but no, i couldnt, i could not go through 2 days of
labour. i wasnt strong enough so they agreed to let me have a c section as i had that with my first.
i went to theatre!!
i came round to see my beautiful baby girl. thats when it all came real. my baby girl who i wanted
soo soooo much had gone. she hadnt even seen me, she didnt know who i was, how can god take
something so inocent away.people kept saying she is in a better place but im sorry NO. she should be
with her mum thats where she belongs with people that love her.
The consultant came in and said im sorry, you have had another placental abruption but this one was
silent. i had no bleeding nothing. my first little boy was an emergency c section because i had an
abruption with severe bleeding. he survived at 32 weeks and was 3lb 8oz. how, why had i had this
again but this time it has taken my 5lb 6oz little girl mandy.
its so hard to come to terms with. the next few weeks were hell. i didnt speak or go out i was just
numb. i didnt want to be here if im honest i couldnt cope with loosing a daughter but eventually it
got easier and now i feel i can cope with this and its made me a stronger person. she is always just
a heartbeat away and she is looking down on us all.its a tragic loss, i miss her so much.then the
anger of being left in that room for an hour and a half makes me wonder whether she was still alive
as i got there because my son managed to survive. the first thing they should of done was check the
heartbeat. they knew my history. i will never know to this day. i made a complaint but it wont
change anything for me but maybe anyone else in that position it will. i think of her everyday and
will never forget. i have 2 children, one here and one in heaven.
we had a service and cremation a week later, i didnt have any tears left that day. i just thank god
i have a fantastic family who supported me all the way through.before we had her funeral we would go
and see her everyday for a few hours, it was hard but i just didnt want to let her go.the day we
said goodbye at the funeral directors was the worst day. face to face it was unbearable. the last
time i seen my baby. we took hand and foot prints. i brought a locket and she wore it until the last
time we seen her.
i just thought id share some of my story cos i know alot of people can unfortunetly relate to it.xxx
off my friend becky lenton
My Dearest Family,
Some things I'd like to say
but first of all to let you know
that I arrived okay.
Please do not be unhappy
just because I'm out of sight,
remember that I'm with you
every morning, noon and night.
And I will be beside you
every day and week and year,
and when you're sad,
I'm standing there
to wipe away the tear
When you think of my short life with you
and all those missing years,
because you're only human
they are bound to bring you tears
But do not be afraid to cry,
it does relieve the pain,
but remember there would be no flowers,
unless there was some rain.
And now I am contented
that my life it was worthwhile,
knowing as I passed along the way
I made somebody smile.
So if you meet somebody
who is down and feeling low,
just lend a hand to pick him up
as on your way you go.
When you are walking
down the street
and you've got me on your mind
I'm walking in your footsteps
only half a step behind.
And when you feel the gentle breeze
or the wind upon your face,
that's me giving you a great big hug
or just a soft embrace.
Nine Long Months - by Ingrid Aspey
I carried you for nine long months,
Looking forward to your birth.
Little did I ever know,
You'd never breath on earth.
I'd made such plans for your life,
Looking forward to bringing you home.
I never though for one second,
When I came home I’d be alone.
They said there’d been some complications,
They said that you had gone.
I couldn't understand their words,
What had happened? What had gone wrong?
Now they don’t want to talk of you,
The people who drop by.
They think that I should just accept,
My baby's in the sky.
I’ll keep a part of you with me,
And everywhere I am, you’ll be.
I know we’ll meet again some day,
Then in my arms you'll always stay.
Every day I’ll think of you,
Think of you with love.
My precious little baby,
My Angel up above.
To The Child I'll Never Know - by Gloria DianneHow can I say Good Bye
When I never said Hello,
Why does my heart grieve
For the child I'll never know?
You were a part of me
For just a little while.
I grieve because I'll never see
The magic in your smile.
I grieve for all the unsaid words
That you will never say.
I grieve that I will never see
You happily at play.
I grieve for all the lullabies
That will remain unsung.
I grieve because I'll never see
Your face gleaming like the sun.
I grieve because you will never know
The comfort of my touch.
I grieve because you will never know
That you were loved so much.
I grieve for all the tomorrows
That will never be.
I grieve because God chose
To take you back from me.
You live among the Angels now
Your earthly mission done,
You will be so dearly missed
Good-Bye my little one.
mandy may xX xX
God made a sweet child
a child who never grew old
He made a smile of sunshine
He molded a heart of pure gold.
He made that child as close to an angel
as anyone ever could be
God made a Sweet Child
and He gave that dear child to me
Then God saw His wonderful creation
growing very tired and weak
so He wrapped the child in His loving arms
and said, "You my child I keep"
But now my Sweet Child is an angel
Free from hurt and pain
I'll love you forever, until we meet again
So many times I have missed you
So many times I have cried
If all my love could have saved you
Sweet Child you never would have died.
My dreams will come true....Yes it is true that I never got to see all that this world holds
The flowers, trees, grass or a bright sunny day
Not even the smiling faces of my loving family
But in my heart I have seen all of these things, even in my short time
It is also true that I never got to feel the many things that you take for granted
The snow on my face on a cold December day
Finger paints and crayons I will never hold in my hands
But I did feel the loving arms on my mother and father cradling me gently.
I never got to hear all the sounds that make most hearts sing
The laughter of a loved one or the sweet song of a bird
Songs on the radio and the words "I love you" are to me a mystery
But the soft touch of my mother's hands shouts to me all of this and more.
I would never have known the joy of running through a field of flowers
Never would I roll down the side of a hill to dizzy to stand
Hide and seek, tag and dodge ball I would have missed
In my mind I will do all of these things and more.
You all may see it as me missing out on all of these things by leaving you so soon
But where I am going I will do, see and hear everything you do and more
All of the people that have passed before me are waiting to make that come true
I will always think of good things, for in my short time that is all I know.
So don't cry for me
I am doing all that you have all wished for me,
and from my time here with you
I will know nothing but love and that I will take with me.
in memory of my great neice mandy may
I never had chance to meet you or see your smiling face but god above will know you have the most special mummy and daddy any baby girl could of ever hoped for,unfortunately you was not given the time to see. But you are safe with all our loved ones that have passed over and probably in the arms of aunty mandy. god bless you babe. great aunt dinah
angels called your name so gently,
That only you could hear.
No one heard the footsteps,
Of angels drawing near.
Softly from the shadows
There came a gentle call,
You closed your eyes and went to sleep,
And quietly left us all.
oooO
(....).... Oooo....
...(.....(.....)...
.._)..... )../....
.......... (_/
oooO
(....).... Oooo....
...(.....(.....)...
.._)..... )../....
.......... (_/
oooO
(....).... Oooo....
...(.....(.....)...
.._)..... )../....
.......... (_/
oooO
(....).... Oooo....
...(.....(.....)...
.._)..... )../....
.......... (_/
my due date
I carried you so lovingly
within my gentle womb...
And little did I realize
your life would end so soon.
I never got the chance to say,
"I love you, little one"...
Before I held you in my arms,
your life on earth was done.
The grief is indescribable,
to lose a child this way...
All the many hopes and dreams
were vanished on that day.
I know I'll see the sun so bright
upon my baby's face...
When I finally get to Heaven,
my pain will be erased.
We'll soar the skies together,
as angels two by two...
We'll have a sweet reunion;
a mother's dream come true
my due date
Daddy please don't look so sad,
mummy please don't cry
"cause i am in the arms of jesus
and he sings me lullabies."
Please,try not to question God,
don't think he is unkind
don't think he sent me to you,
and then he changed his mind.
You see,i am a special child,
and im needed up above
I'm the special gift you gave him,
the product of your love.
I'll always be there with you
and watch the sky at night,
find the brightest star thats gleaming,
thats my halos brilliant light.
Your'l see me in the morning frost,
that mists your window pane.
Thats me in the summer showers,
I'll be dancing in the rain.
When you feel a little breeze,
from a gentle wind that blows
thats me,I'll be there
planting a kiss on your nose.
When you see a child playing
and your heart feels a little tug,
thats me I'll be there,
giving your heart a hug.
So daddy,please don't look so sad,
mummy don;t you cry.
I'm in the arms of jesus
and he sings me lullabies
We do not need a special day
To bring you to our minds.
The days we do not think of you
Are very hard to find.
Each morning when we awake
We know that you are gone.
And no one knows the heartache
As we try to carry on.
Our hearts still ache with sadness
And secret tears still flow.
What it meant to lose you
No one will ever know.
Our thoughts are always with you,
Your place no one can fill.
In life we loved you dearly;
In death we love you still.
There will always be a heartache,
And often a silent tear.
But always a precious memory
Of the days when you were here.
If tears would make a staircase,
And heartaches make a lane,
We'd walk the path to heaven
And bring you home again.
We hold you close within our hearts;
And there you will remain,
To walk with us throughout our lives
Until we meet again.
Our family chain is broken now,
And nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.
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